Our annual ‘Eat your way through “White Christmas”‘ Party

Like many families, mine loves to watch “White Christmas,” that movie musical paean to fantasies of holidays past, as one of our Christmas traditions.  Every time we would get to club car scene (on the train to Pine Tree, Vermont), we too wanted to eat the club sandwiches the foursome order from the steward. One […]

Actors, Atmosphere, and Integrity

In my work with actors, I find one consistent issue that ripples far beyond the Brads and Angelinas of the industry:  “Atmosphere” between actors and the very real threat that poor boundaries pose to an actor’s personal integrity.  Working the atmosphere is a necessary part of the illusion that’s being created onstage, on set, in […]

God Called You To Be A Star? Get Real

“God created me to be an actor,” many in this town say.  There may be truth in that, but it is a mistake to believe that if you feel called by God to the business, you’ve also been promised success. Most who have sought creative lives in Hollywood must eventually take a hard look at […]

Relationships: Romance vs. Reality

“Real marriage begins the day you look across the breakfast table and think, who is that cretin who eats with his fingers and why did I marry him?” a wise pastor said once upon a time.   Romance is a small part of a grown-up relationship, and if you can’t live without a constant current of […]

Christians are uniquely screwy about anger

We are all screwy about anger, but as with all issues I think Christians can be uniquely screwy. Many are taught by well meaning churches and parents that anger is bad and God does not like anger, but the Bible does not really say that.  So let’s take a quick surface look at what the […]

What is your anger (mis)management style?

Are you an Exploder, an Underhander, a Somatizer, or a Self-Punisher?  Psychologists have come up with different ways to categorize anger styles, but I like these four from Neil Clark Warren (1990).  Since understanding our anger style and the styles of those around us is the first step toward expressing anger in a healthy way, […]

Anger. You cannot NOT get angry

Let’s look at anger from physiological, philosophical, and psychological perspectives. When we get angry, adrenalin stays in the blood for 12-20 minutes at a level of 2-3 times normal, during which time your entire body is in a state of heightened alert. This adrenalin motivates us to Fight/Flight/Freeze.  Which one occurs depends on temperament (pit […]

Be Angry, and Sin Not

Most people are goofy about anger.  We may have learned somewhere that it is inappropriate to be angry at all.  If you grew up in the church, or grew up within certain ethnic groups – Asian, for example, or many of the northern European lines from which I hail – or if you grew up […]